Nothing much has changed, the only thing worth blogging about is probably A-level matters. As I had previously mentioned in my last post about the exams I were going to take in January, I received my exam results this month. Can't say they were the greatest grades ever. I don't know what to do anymore. The more I try it seems, the less the results show. I'm constantly being told that if I do put the work in, it will show. So I did put a lot of work into these exams, maybe not as much as I could have, but a hell of a lot. And to end up with a sheet of paper in your hands a few months after, to see the grade, to feel your heart sink and to feel like you're wanting to throw up and cry and pretty much crawl under a rock and live there forever. Can't say it's the nicest of feelings. Lately I've been thinking to myself if A-levels are really my 'thing'. All my older brothers have obtained a degree/going to graduate very soon, so of course I'm expected to be doing the same too. It's my parents dream to see their first daughter go to university and make something of herself. Of course, university is not the only route in the world to getting somewhere in life, but to my parents it is.
I do want to go to university and experience all that it has to offer, but I wish I didn't have to put up with these treacherous two years of A-levels. As I'm resitting my first year, I'm going to be staying behind a year, yet I'm already exhausted from all the school work so I'm always wondering how good it must feel for Year 13s to know they're leaving soon.
But I'm kind of motivated to try again, I won't let this get me down. As they were both Psychology papers I discussed it with my subject teacher, as to how I could improve my grade. I have got to say, my Psychology teacher is the nicest most helpful woman, and I have ever so much to be thankful for with her being around and offering to get me through this rough patch. I'm also receiving help from siblings. Although one of them is a little harsh, I'm still grateful as they care and they're offering to help me and mark work for me, and to guide me through the two years they have also been through.
And to end this little post, here are some quotes that I've been reading to help me be motivated and to prevent this little set back from dragging me down:
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try."
- Beverly Sills
"One's best success comes after their greatest disappointments."
- Henry Ward Beecher
"If I am to meet with a disappointment, the sooner I know it, the more of life I shall have to wear it off."
- Thomas Jefferson