I've been needing some sort of event in my life to happen so that I get a wake up call to sort my life out completely, starting a-fresh with almost everything.
Well an event did happen a few days ago, I received my AS level results and found myself in a sticky situation, disappointing myself and my family. And from that day every little comment I receive I take on board to better myself whereas I would have bit the persons head off before. I'm become to realise that I need to fix somethings in my life, I can't let myself slump into a person I would never want to be. I want to prove to myself I can be something, I want to prove to my mother that I will fulfill her dream of seeing her eldest daughter have a degree and become something. I want to prove to my father that I can live up the expectations he has set, I can do even better than my brothers. I have my heart set on spending the next two years of my life productively, to leave sixth form with A's and land myself in a degree that I'd be proud to have, to look back and see that every little effort I put into myself has been worth it. I know now that people's efforts don't ever go to waste, as long as it's consistent. I will never give up on myself. I'm ever so thankful my family and teachers have not given up on me either, they are the people pushing me to better myself.
I'm finding a job for myself to save up for university in 2013, I'm finding a volunteer job to enable me to stand out, and I'm willing to work my butt off starting September to achieve something in life. I will look back at this post one day and God forbid I don't reach these goals I've set for myself. I'm not looking back at the past anymore, I'm looking forward. As my brother would say 'there is no point crying over spilt milk'. What has happened, has happened and it has been one of the biggest lessons of my life. A week ago I never would have thought I'd be like this, yet my attitude to life has turned around for the better.